Early trauma, so-called attachment and developmental trauma, leaves deep scars in our bodies and brains and makes life difficult from the very beginning. This doesn't mean one-off events that are externally identifiable as serious (=shock trauma), but primarily the breakdown of our bond with our primary caregiver, usually our mother . This leads, among other things, to a reduced ability for self-regulation. As a result, any emotion, whether joy or anger, can quickly derail us or not even surface. Allowing genuine contact is both our greatest longing and, in our perception, our greatest danger.

 

Bond breaks can be...

 

... in infancy:

 

• physical or emotional separation from the mother

• depressive, anxious, narcissistic or (passive) aggressive first caregiver

• lack of sensitivity of the first caregiver

 

...in childhood:

 

• Ignorance or disapproval of the child's need for autonomy

• Ignorance or disapproval of childhood sexuality

• Manipulation of the child

 

Any instance of being left alone, whether physically or emotionally, is life-threatening for the infant. If we repeatedly experience such bonding breakdowns, it leads to us developing chronically high levels of stress, withdrawing from our bodies , and experiencing contact as dangerous.

However, our body often manages to achieve balance over a long period of time, so that we can get through life relatively healthy despite the high level of activation in our body.

 

Symptoms appear when our body enters healing mode and finally wants to release years of tension. Instead of judging our difficulties and problems, we can see them as a gateway to healing our inner, wounded child.